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Experiences of Our Readers -- In Their Own Words

A Lesson Learned The Hard Way

I send my thanks to the reader of ' Joan and Lucy's Corner' who wrote the following  beautifully written heartfelt letter which she has given us the permission to share  with you.  We and she hope this will help you to better understand and gain insight into your own relationships.


"When I found out that my husband was a cross dresser (after 8 years of marriage), I became very insecure and moved out.  Now it is a year later, and after not having had much communication during this last year, and listening to my friends call him a "freak", I found that I missed him like crazy and started up the relationship again.  He has come out of the closet to a much greater extent since we've been separated, but I knew that I still loved the man I married no matter what he wore!  Through yours and other websites, I've learned that 1) He's not homosexual, nor is he interested in being with a man rather than a woman, 2) He married me because he loves me, not because he was trying to "prove something to himself", 3) He's the most sensative heterosexual man I've ever known, and 4) Contrary to popular belief, clothes don't define the man!.  I've finally come to understand his need to CD and it doesn't change him into a different person than the one I married, just a more comfortable person with himself. 

"Let my friends say what they will, we are rekindling our marriage slowly, and it's much better than it ever was.  All he ever wanted was to be accepted by me.  I also kind of like him as he is now, with no pretenses and hiding nothing.  There's a new honesty in our relationship. 

"We are building toward living together once again, but for right now, seeing him daily has to be enough.  He was my best friend before I married him, during our years together, and are still best friends.  Only now it doesn't matter to me that he likes to wear women's clothing sometimes.  After all, I wear pants and t-shirts!

(Name withheld)

Follow-up Correspondence several weeks later:

"Hi Joan...

". . . Just to update you on what's happening here.  My husband and I have pretty much decided to move back in together.  He has to vacate his apartment next month, and we both are finding more and more that we are unhappy living apart.  We have been spending time together daily, and the more he crossdresses, the more appealing I find him and it.  He has great taste in clothes and I'm thinking about letting him start doing some shopping for me. He's already picked me up some things that he had that I admired.
"Tomorrow night we're going out for the first time with him dressed as a woman.  I must confess that I'm a little nervous, but with the wig and makeup he can definately pass.  He's very excited  about the prospect of doing this together, and I guess I am too.  I'll let you know how it goes. Thank you for your ear and all your help. . ."

(Name withheld)